Rule 4: Modesty … what is it?

The purpose of this posting is to present thoughts on modesty ... evoked by a recent event. These thoughts are by no means exhaustive [or even a good starting point] ... and will undoubtedly be flawed in many ways ... but they are open for comment ... with the hope that we can over time draft and revised as needed a Rule 4 Modesty Protocol Statement that might contain ideas that will help guide us with this important question in the future at Northfield.

==>>> Section 2C(iv)(a) and (b) would appear to be important [and potentially helpful] assertions in understanding the proper role of modesty. <<<===

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

modestus : Latin for orderly, within bounds, moderate, restrained.

modest [definition]
modest [etymology] 

1560s, "having moderate self-regard," from Middle French modeste (14c.),

from Latin modestus "keeping due measure" (see modesty).

Of women, "not improper or lewd," 1590s; of female attire, 1610s.

The 4^th of the 7 Simple Rules is:

4. Be modest in word, deed, and appearance.

Here are some thoughts about the meaning and purpose of this rule.

1.      Modesty is a personality trait of the individual which resides in [and arises from] either the heart [as a desire] or the mind [as a duty].

A.     As such it is fundamentally voluntary [if not always conscious] and cannot be brought into existence by external forces.

i.       If the 4^th Simple Rule is merely a law to enforce, it is questionable … one “is” either modest or not.

B.     Furthermore, the word should not be used as an adjective when referring to anything other than a person.

i.       It is meaningful to say that “Mary is modest.”

ii.      It is meaningless to say “The dress is modest.”

C.     Conformity can be compelled … but modesty never results from the threat or exercise of external force [even when such force is accompanied by the immediate compliance or obedience of the individual without resistance].

i.       Obedience and compliance are the subject-matter of Rule 6.

2.      Modesty results in the individual doing what is needed to keep self within the accepted boundaries of the society, company and/or circumstances in which one resides or is present for the purpose of promoting general order by reducing specific distractions.

A.     Modesty typically involves self-restraint … for example, letting others speak in turn when you have something your urgently want to say … “he behaved modestly in the discussion”.

B.     However, it can also involve self-exertion … for example speaking up when you have something important to say but are shy in public … “he made a modest effort to participate in class”.

C.     In this respect, modesty is relative to the range of circumstances one faces and requires careful observation and discernment of the ways to further the primary purposes for which a group of people has gathered.

i.       This is not to say that modesty can be a substitute [or an excuse] for making moral choices to put ourselves in [or to remove ourselves from] certain circumstances.

ii.      Some issues which raise question of modesty may not appear to raise any moral questions per se … such as purple hair in school.

iii.    Other issues which raise moral questions may be well within the bounds of modesty … such as having a few drinks at a party.

iv.    Thus modesty, like morality, involves observing a set of boundaries requiring self-restraint [or self-exertion] while knowing that the boundaries for modesty and morality may not be coterminus.

a.      If morality is the higher priority, you will

o       observe moral boundaries when they fall inside those of modesty even at the risk of disrupting the gathering and

o       feel free to practice or violate modesty depending on whether you wish to promote or disrupt the purpose for the gathering.

b.      If modesty is the higher priority, you will

o       follow the crowd beyond your moral limits if not doing so would disrupt the gathering and

o       find yourself frustrated within and confined by the crowd whose range of behavior is more narrowly limited than your moral sensibility.

3.      The presence [or absence] of modesty and morality and the priority we have assigned them in our life is revealed by how we speak, what we do and how we appear when we gather with others. When their boundaries diverge, we should stop and think thru our motives, our desires and the potential consequences of our actions.